Jersey Shore: National Geographic (PARODY) | MTV

Jersey Shore: National Geographic (PARODY) | MTV


(upbeat music) – [Narrator] In 2009,
MTV began to document the behavior of a unique species indigenous to the shoreline of New Jersey. – I’m going to Jersey Shore, bitch! – [Narrator] A dynamic breed, characterized by a peculiar, brownish hue, stocky build, and a spirited demeanor. – Party’s here. – [Narrator] Known as the
male gorilla juice head, and the female guidette. This species subsists primarily
on a liquid diet of alcohol, including, but not
limited to, Ron Ron Juice. – The root of all evil. – [Narrator] Though they stand upright in their normal state, they’re often relocated to all fours following heavy consumption of the fluid that is once their life
force, and their nemesis. – I’m a (beeping) good person. (jungle music) – [Narrator] The mating season for the gorilla juice head and guidette is not a season at all, but is, in fact, a year-round continuous event. – [Group Of Girls] Hey! – [Mike] What up? – [Paulie] What’s up? – [Narrator] They attract the opposite sex using a fascinating mating
ritual, known as GTL. In which they enhance their muscle mass, darken their complexion, and clean their clothing repeatedly. – GTL baby, gym, tan, laundry. – [Narrator] Upon
completing their GTL cycle, they don their freshly cleaned apparel, – It’s t-shirt time. T-shirt time. – [Narrator] and set forth on wheel. – Cabs are here! Cabs are here! – [Narrator] To flirt, or creep, at the common known mating grounds, to perform their traditional mating dance, while emitting their
guttural matting call. – You trying to smush right now? (wild safari music) – [Narrator] When a
potential partner is located, both parties commence the
physical act of mating, or smushing. Smushing can occur anywhere, at any time, with any partners. But most often occurs in a
designated smushing area, known as the smush room. – What’s up bitches! Oh, my vagina’s out. (screaming) – [Narrator] In 2011, a mutant genius of the guidette was discovered, known as the meatball. Meatballs can be identified by their exceptional aptitude in the
practice of day drinking. Their tendency to remain underwears free. – [Narrator] And their
ability to murp the day away. – Murp, murp, menurp, murp murp. (dramatic music) – [Narrator] Over the past four years, the world has become enamored
at this charming species, and their delightful idiosyncrasies. As our four year study draws to a close, we reflect on what they have taught us about life, love, and the
pursuit of getting it in. To gorilla juice heads, guidettes, and meatballs everywhere, we salute you. Yeah, buddy. – Yeah, buddy. (heartwarming music)